Let’s start with a little history about The Spades.  How did the original line up come together and when did it all begin?
This is a long, long, long story and about as exciting as reading from the phonebook.  There are many lies in this world and about 2.000.000.000.000.000 are about how Handsome Dick and me, Denvis met up.  Let’s go with the asylum story for you, Johnny….

Me and Dick were born in a warm royal nest on the island of Awabumbu, between Africa and Asia… It is a very rich colony. We grew up in wealth and had many slaves. Life was simple and peaceful in Awabumbu. Some slaves became friends. Then one day, while paying topless beach volleyball, we found an album, washed up on the beach of the Sonics and from there the legend grew…. The other boys are from a African asylum seekers place in the neighbourhood of Eindhoven rockcity.

Another version is that the handsome one and me were living as street rats in Bangkok, Thailand in the early nineties. We played for little cash in front of the hardrock café, and then one night, when we played in front of the stadium where Bon Jovi played, a Thai man suggested we were better then John Bon and that’s why we decided to become a rock and roll band.

What bands most influenced the Spades sound and what bands are you digging currently.
Recently I’m digging holes for the exotic plants that I grow in my garden, while doing that I like to listen a little Mozart piano music. But this was not always so. I was a soul lover at very young age ( about 6 or so! ) then more rock and KISS from my childhood on, The Who at 14, the Doors at 15, then Led Zep(16) AC/DC, The Stooges, Sonics, the Dead Boys, and a lot of Alex Chilton, Ween, Teenage Fanclub, YouamI and many obscure Cramps related 60’s stuff. I saw Link Wray play a year or so before he died. I Played myself with Turbonegro, Gluecifer, The Dwarves, bionic, Maximum r ‘n r, Danko Jones, Nashville Pussy and the Gaza Strippers and tomorrow we play with the Supersuckers…. Life is good and I’ve got gooooood taste! (Cramps)

How was it working with Jack Endino (producer of Nirvana’s “Bleach”) on your Seattle Sessions record?  Those tracks came out killer.  I liked the “Friday Night” record but the production on your latter efforts really brings out the intensity of your music to it’s full potential.
There is something to say for the fact that we recorded the Friday Night EP in Belgium with Theo van Rock and Peer Rave under the extremely poor circumstances that we did record it. Mind you, the band had only existed for a couple of weeks or so but already a break up in the first line up was inevitable. The addiction of playing card games drew our drummer further and further away from us, while the lead guitarist was getting more and more into the Columbian marching powders. Against that, recording all high tech with Jack, a man that does everything with class in Seattle on a big budget provided by Suburban Records and being flown all over yer beautiful country by the Dutch pop institute, was more alike to the wealthy lifestyle that we were accustomed to. You can hear that back in the recordings…. The decadence of young Dutch elite brads that have everything in the world, but still find the time to complain about all the wrongdoing against them.

Can you tell us the story behind the controversial cover of “Learning the hard way…”?  I know from reading early reviews of the record that the media really thought that the pictures on the album were of the actual band.
That has a lot to do with the fact that I’m extremely well hung.

We ( Handsome Dick and yers truly) once caught a ride with two coloured guys from the States that were working for Philips. I told them I was hung like a brother and then showed them. Not only did they freak out on the fact that a Dutchman that easily takes his pecker out, they also threw us out of the car.  “Jelous!, penis envy!” Dick told me.

Also Andre Williams is an older brother of us that showed us the in’s and out’s of the bizz and especially how the chase a wild goose and therefore I thought it would be cool to show the people that we were black and proud of it!

Boy, what a mistake it became to be. They cancelled an English tour on us instantly when they found out we cheated on skin tone.

Fuckin’ British nazi’s!

Without incriminating yourself can you tell us about “Gator Lane”.  Is there a real spot, is this some kind of urban legend, or is it just completely fictional?
I dated an American girl from Tyngsborough, MA, for a while. There was everything right about it and the girl pampered me with lines like :” I love you!” and : “what will come will come!”

Foolish and naïve as I was I thought that she meant all this. At the time I did not know that Americans say these thing randomly, like : “I’m sorry!” or “ How are you?”. God, was I stupid.

The moment I found out about how flakey the whole thing was getting, I asked her to drive me in her Saab to the Alligator lane, the second right after Okee Fenokee national reserve , where we met up with a 86 year old alligator called George. Let me say this much, I drove the Saab back myself.

Noting your cover of Iron Maiden’s “Sanctuary”, is it safe to assume that you prefer Di’Anno over Dickinson?  (I have to admit that I am definitely a Di’Anno era Maiden fan)
There is nothing like Paul Di’anno wailing it out on the first two albums that these boys put out. I can honestly say that all the difficulties that Iron Maiden had with starting up a band has inspired us as well. And then the abuse of liquor and coke…. Splendid.

It took me years to measure up to the duke of Doncaster but I think at one point, a couple of years back, I managed. I became the rock icon I wanted to become and spit everyone in the face that did now bow to the king, that I thought I was. Great company I was in those days.

A diet on whiskey, smoke, dope and then…. white Russians when my stomach would complain.

We invited Paul to come and sing Sanctuary with us on the lowlands festival, but he didn’t make it in time. We had a great laugh at the rider he send.

He is one scary fucker and there’s a lot of respect in the regions where we grew up for this brilliant man. A national treasure, Paul Di’anno!

There seems to be a really great underground rock scene in Eindhoven.  I see why they call it “Rock City”.  Is there a tight community of musicians?  What bands do you guys hang out with/party with?
All of them, except Metallica. They came to my hometown and changed a beautiful relaxed backstage into a third world nazi regime where I was not allowed to go shit before the dudes had walked upon the stage in their spandex.

Unbelievable. The guts to walk in this fashion is beyond my understanding. They better take an example from my older brother Andre Williams, that would share every hooker and line of coke with me all night long and boys like the Turbonegro, that would beg fat Dennis for yet another joke and treat.

The boys from Peter Pan Speedrock and El Guapo Stuntteam are local mates. There’s also a great mate/drummer Hanzs, that used to play in this great reggae band called Beef, a band that would say they were from “Eindhoven rock steady”

In the past John Auer, guys from Nebula and Nashville Pussy, as well as the boys from Ween and a bunch of small USA bands like Black Earth would overstay their welcome…. No harm done, we will come and visit soon enough….

There’s a band from your neighboring city of Breda that I’ve been checking out called “The Gecko Brothers”, have you heard of these guys?  I think you should grab them the next time you come to the U.S. on tour, that would make for a wicked combo.
We know Maurice and his gang very well. We will come over as soon as you have lined up the whole tour and the guarantees are in the bank! I hope there is a market for an sonic invasion of Dutch carnival freaks with man boobs.

I know you’ve been on the road in the U.S., how would you compare the scene in the Netherlands to what you’ve experienced in the U.S.?
Yep, yep, yep, I hoped this question would come…. Now, John, as a foreign band in Holland, you are treated as a king, and that while you guys insult us because we don’t speak English to your liking… (Shellac in our hometown) and then overcharge us with your endless stream of useless merchandise. We cook you dinners with fresh vegetables and make up your beds in hotels or in our own very homes. The beer keeps flowing all night and there is a supply of drugs like there is no tomorrow. This we do provide because we love rock ‘n roll and all the feasting that goes along with it.

It is always a sentimental moment for you, guys when our ways part. You say things like : “I will never forget this!” and according to proper Q. Tarantino vocabulary : “ Mi casa, su casa! “  or “I’ll write you!” and then you leave, never to be heard from again. (see answer question 5)

Then… Going to your country: Two drink tickets and 33 U.S. of A bucks door money with nothing but a wet floor to crash on…. If you are lucky!

It is the magic of touring in your rural states, where Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil, that keeps us going and it is the stupidity of your southern women that let us fuck them up their asses as a remedy against getting pregnant. It is the anti depressants that keep my band members from going crazy on the road and it is the 2 and a half litres of whiskey that made me do it, officer.

We love America for a month or so, but then it’s back to mommy’s …where the fireplace is lit and the good wine is breathing. We take a sauna and shake you off like a bad cold!

Hopefully this isn’t a touchy subject but I’ve noticed that there have been quite a few changes to The Spades roster over the years.  What’s the reason for the ever changing line up of musicians in The Spades.  Does this tell us that maybe the singer is difficult to get along with?
Fuck you for stating this!!!

It looks like a few of your former bandmates are now part of the group Judasville.  Are you still friends with these guys?  What do you think of the band?
Our own drummer is a man that collaborates with that juvenile gang of has-beens that calls themselves : “ Judasville, but it has been over a year since they came together. They never thanked me or anything for being so open minded about the whole thing. I think they are dead or something. They might be dead, but hey sure did not put me in their will or nothing. I expected at least some flowers since I borrowed my drummerboy and all!

Oh well… what to expect from a band called….

What’s coming up for The Spades?  I read that a new release was being recorded, tentatively to be called “Above The Law & Below The Belt!”  When can we expect to get our hands on it?  What are your tour plans?  Where can your fans plan to be seeing you in the near future?
This is all a bit vague since we heard yesterday that there are troubles on our path. I think it is time to go overseas again and kick some American butt soon. We want to put the album out in the states. That is important to us. We have had a fairly good response to the last album and we were hoping to get the new one out on Relapse. It seems like those fine boys don’t know how to put it away. I think I might come over and show them. Blindfolded with a hand tied behind my back. Interested parties may react and make a proposal ( I love, l.o.v.e. money up front!!! ) next year SXSW and a tour following is within reach.

What’s your take on the situation in Iraq?  Can you tell us a little about how people in Eindhoven feel about this war?
We love war, just like you! There’s nothing like bombing a children’s hospital and seeing their brains all splattered out over the concrete. Rape is okay in my book and I feel like I am connected to George Bush since he never finished school, is a former drunk and animal sex maniac (we got the pics all over the news in Holland), just like me!

I hope Iran is next, and then North Korea, then all of Africa and then the Chinese…….

Many music fans tend to think that their favorite bands are making lots of money and do music as a full time gig.  That is usually far from the truth, especially in the beginning.  What do you do when you’re not doing The Spades?
I make a shitload of euro dollars because I’m a movie director and do tv stuff. A videoclip here and there and in my spare time I’m a daddy to a boy called Lou. For the rest I dabble in guitars and cars and take a holiday every fourthnight! Life smiles on the Denvis!

If you could ask yourself a question to wrap up this interview what would it be?  (and what is the answer?)
question : …now Denvis, would you like to get paid for this interview in sexual pleasures provided by two squirting Asian teen-age girls that like to do it and do it and do it all night long,  since it was so damn exhausting giving all these brilliant answers to the silly questions that John wrote up?….

answer : ….Don’t mind if I do!